Captain Cheesedick,

I presume?

OK, so I was all jacked up to write a blog entry about this douche rocket …

Courtesy ABC TV

… when all of a sudden, at 9:52 p.m., I realized my stupid f-ing DVR hadn’t recorded “The Women Tell All” episode of “The Bachelor.”

Talk. About. Pissed.

Adding insult to injury is the fact that I can’t believe I didn’t think to do running commentaries of each episode of this show earlier. (Just think how much fun I would have had last week blogging about when Brad said, “I’m letting you go” to Ashley H. and then somehow, against all logic, he seemed legitimately confused as to why she was pissed, asking, “What’s wrong?”)

On the bright side, however, I was able to catch the last 8 minutes of this week’s episode but all it was was a preview of next week’s episode as well as a bunch of stuff we already knew, namely:

• Chantal is a train wreck but for some reason I want her to win. Maybe it’s her willingness to overlook how terrible Brad is. Maybe it’s her giant boobs.
• Chantal’s mom is actually hotter than she is.
• Emily is a moron for thinking Brad is a great guy. The only thing he does great is make any situation 10 times more awkward.
• Who the hell names their kid after their dead fiance?
• Brad should be mayor of Cornballville.

So sadly there will be no additional commentary of this week’s episode. But be sure to check back next Tuesday for my first and last review of “The Douchelor.”

I promise I won’t be relying on my DVR.

This entry was written by Bryce, posted on March 7, 2011 at 11:33 pm, filed under "The Bachelor", "The DVR misses all" and tagged "The Bachelor", Brad Womack, douche. Leave a comment or view the discussion at the permalink.